Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Pursuit of Parenthood: Cindy and Sandy

We live next door to identical twins girls from Guatemala named Cindy and Sandy. They have very thick accents, always dress in the same clothes and walk up and down our sidewalk holding their chihuahua named Baby. They come to our house everyday to visit our dogs whom they love. They both wore black the day Newman died.

Cindy and Sandy have that gift of most ten year old girls. They say what's on their minds. No filter. No edits. No matter how inappropriate it might be.

The day before Newman died, they both came over for a visit while I sat with Newman on the front porch. I told them that he was going to heaven and I wanted them to say good bye. They asked me how I knew he was going to heaven, and I said, "because he is very sick and we have called our vet to come over and help us." They asked me if we were going to shoot him. I said, "uh no."

About once a month they both ask me in unison "when are you going to have babies?" They don't understand how we can live in such a big house, be married, and NOT have children. This simply does not compute. I recently learned that they live in a two bedroom one bathroom apartment with their parents, grandparents and they share a bedroom with their young cousin. He seems way too old to be sharing a bedroom with ten year old girls, but whatever.

Every time they ask me, I tell them that we are working on it. Recently, the conversation got a little bit more in depth. They asked me if we knew HOW to make babies? I told them that indeed we did we know how, but it is taking the time it needs to take. (subtext, you know nothing. you are ten. please stop asking me this question.) Cindy and Sandy said we know how babies are made. You get naked and lie down next to each other. If only it were that easy. It reminded me of when my Mother who was visiting from Texas and saw fertility books on my nightstand said to me, "you know Andrea, it takes more than reading to get pregnant."

I have learned that everyone has something to say on this subject. Advice to give. Thoughts to share. Questions to ask. I try to be patient and understanding, but sometimes I want to scream and throw myself on the floor and cry. Not today. Today I will stay upright and keep on walking.

Note to Self: Shoes or no shoes, you can never know the walk someone's taken.

1 comment:

  1. Through our entire journey in infertility, the funniest advice I got, which happened to be from our doctor, was to go under the bleachers at the local high school. That seemed to be the most fertile place in town. :-)!
    Keeping you in my thoughts,
    Terri (Graham) Phillips